mamaLove

RoR

I’ve been a VB developer for 8 years, first in VB6, and now in .NET. I don’t know near as much though because I only know enough to get my job done. Of course, most people are the same way.

But I’m tired of .net development. I’m ready for a change and so far, what I’ve seen of Ruby on Rails (RoR), I like. It’s simple, it’s easy to develop with and it works. It makes sense. It does a lot of the work for you, too, which means no switching from here to there to get an app working and running.

Granted, my web design skills are somewhat lacking, but I need a change. I don’t want to do Windows development anymore.

I’ve been reading books and tutorials on RoR and I’ve decided I need to develop some sort of app as a way to get my feet wet and get familiar with the framework. It would also give me something to show, if I ever decide to try and pursue a career in RoR development. But I’m at a loss as to what to build. I’m not too thrilled with the idea of making my own blogging software.

I’ve thought about a few idea, but none of them really sounds appealing or useful. Maybe because software development, regardless of platform, is just not exciting to me anymore. I think the whole idea has lost its spark. It goes back to the desire to leave the computer industry behind and find a decent paying job where the computer is just possibly a tool to aid in my work, not the main focus. My job currently depends on the computer. If you were to take it away, I couldn’t get my job done. I’d love to find a job where it’s only there to aid me or guide me but I’m not dependant on it, like I am now.

But since all I know is software development, I must stick to what I know. I can’t afford to relearn a new career or new skills needed to switch my field of work. So I thought maybe switching language and framework would at least offer something fresh. So I choose Ruby on Rails. If only I could find some useful, meaningful application to attempt to develop so that I can get familiar with it.

Anyone have any idea? This app most likely isn’t something I would be releasing to the public, but maybe use only personally on my own site or and extension of.

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Stay at Home, Work at Home

Ever since before my daughter was born, I’ve had dreams of being a stay-at-home mom. These feelings only grew stronger the day I had to leave my daughter with strangers at daycare and go to work. She was only 11 weeks old. That was one of the hardest days of my life. And every day I struggle with guilt that I must be at work instead of taking care of my baby girl.

I know she’s getting excellent care at her daycare center and her teachers adore her and spoil her. She gets to play all day with other kids her age and do crafts and games and fun things. And I know that if she were at home, she wouldn’t be exposed to nearly as much as she does now as school. But I still feel that as a parent it’s my responsibility to take care of her. Sure, some people would say I am in a way taking care of her by working and making money to provide for her, but I still don’t like it. If my husband could work and make enough to provide for his family, then I should be able to stay home and physically take care of our  daughter. But our financial situation doesn’t allow for that, although I know it’s our own fault for living the way we do.

She turns 2 today and even now, every day, my desire to stay home with her grows stronger. My husband and I want to move back to FL to be closer to family, so every once in a while I search for job opportunities in the state. But lately, I don’t even want to explore potential job opps because I don’t want to go back to work doing the same thing. I don’t even want to go back to work doing something different.

If I could work from home setting my own hours, it would be an ideal situation because then I could keep my daughter at home with me all day and just work when she’s napping, after she’s gone to bed, or when she’s having a down time. So I’ve been trying to explore work-at-home opportunities and even some of those don’t appeal to me if I have to do the same darn thing I’ve been doing for the past 8 years. But if it’s the only thing available that isn’t a scam then I might consider it. Then here is the biggest challenge, finding something that won’t put us in a major financial crisis (I provide 1/2 of our family income) and that gives decent health insurance. Our family’s health insurance is through my employer because it is much better and cheaper than through my husband’s employer. So this is a real obstacle I must figure out a way to get around.

I am exploring a few options, but so far, things don’t look all too hopeful. But I keep searching, because I’m not sure I’ll be truly satisfied again til I’m able to stay home with my daughter.

Posted to Motherhood, Work | 1 Comment »

A Vacation At Last

Sunday, Amelia and I will be heading south to spend the entire week in Florida with my parents. I’m looking forward to this vacation so much. Sure, I’ll miss my husband, but will truly enjoy being away from home and work. I’ll have help watching Amelia so I won’t have to be on guard constantly. Which means relaxation and knitting. woohoo!

I was right. Teeth #5 and 6 are coming in. The two top front teeth are both coming in. One is coming in a little bit ahead of the other, but they will both be clearly poking through within the next week. It’s a time to rejoice because she’s finally getting more teeth. It’s about time! But it makes for a very cranky little girl and her moodiness is exhausting. At least I know there’s a reason and I can find a little more sympathy for her mood. I know it’s not just her being a difficult toddler.

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Stuck and Miserable

I feel I must write a blog post today. For whatever reason, I am feeling blah. Maybe I just need a vacation. I true vacation, not just a day or two off here and there. But I’m really not enjoying my job.

I really wish I could somehow get another job of comparable pay and benefits that doesn’t involve computers except at a tool to aid me in my work. I don’t want to be a developer anymore. I don’t want to sit in front of a computer every day writing code. I’ve done it for almost 8 years now and I’m tired of it.

But herein lies the problem. I don’t have experience doing anything else. Sure, I worked at a public library for 6 months back in the day, but that’s not real experience to qualify me to be a librarian. There’s a job opening for an assistant manager at a local bookstore. If it didn’t mean a huge cut in pay and benefits, I’d apply. I’ve always dreamed of working in a bookstore or library.

We’ve talked about someday moving back to Florida, but the thought of doing that dreaded job search and knowing I can only look for another developer job just feels like a vise on my heart. I know what my husband feels every time he gets thisclose to quitting his job because he just can’t stand it. It sucks to be so miserable at your day job (where you spend more time than at home) and know that you just can’t up and quit and find something else because you have a family that depends on that income. I understand completely how he feels and I hate that we are both in that situation with seemingly no way to fix it.

We have way too much debt and daycare to just go for a change without thinking of the repercussions. And that makes things even worse. So I sit here trying to keep it together while I plug away at the same freaking project I’ve been working on for the past year or more trying to get something to work so I can move on and maybe at least tolerate my job.

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Techy yet Mom-ish

I’ve been browsing the internet and have found some gorgeous looking blogs. It makes me want to do another redesign of this site. I want it to look sophisticated and techy yet have that fun “mom” feel to it at the same time. How do I accomplish this with minimal frustration?

Another huge problem I have is that I spend so much time designing the layout, slicing it up, converting it to HTML and tweaking it here and there so that the end result looks at least somewhat similar to the Photoshop image, that by the time it goes live, I’m sick of looking at it. Granted, I don’t look at my site very often, but I’d like to have a layout that doesn’t turn me off once it goes live.

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Need a Name

I’m redesigning Amelia’s photo gallery website and I need a name for it. I had originally chosen “munchkin munchkin” but DH doesn’t like it. So I’m trying to come up with something else cute that will fit in with the fonts I chose. The name I chose lined up perfectly in the “logo”, but I can’t find any other name that would like as good. Any suggestions?

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