Stay at Home, Work at Home
Ever since before my daughter was born, I’ve had dreams of being a stay-at-home mom. These feelings only grew stronger the day I had to leave my daughter with strangers at daycare and go to work. She was only 11 weeks old. That was one of the hardest days of my life. And every day I struggle with guilt that I must be at work instead of taking care of my baby girl.
I know she’s getting excellent care at her daycare center and her teachers adore her and spoil her. She gets to play all day with other kids her age and do crafts and games and fun things. And I know that if she were at home, she wouldn’t be exposed to nearly as much as she does now as school. But I still feel that as a parent it’s my responsibility to take care of her. Sure, some people would say I am in a way taking care of her by working and making money to provide for her, but I still don’t like it. If my husband could work and make enough to provide for his family, then I should be able to stay home and physically take care of our daughter. But our financial situation doesn’t allow for that, although I know it’s our own fault for living the way we do.
She turns 2 today and even now, every day, my desire to stay home with her grows stronger. My husband and I want to move back to FL to be closer to family, so every once in a while I search for job opportunities in the state. But lately, I don’t even want to explore potential job opps because I don’t want to go back to work doing the same thing. I don’t even want to go back to work doing something different.
If I could work from home setting my own hours, it would be an ideal situation because then I could keep my daughter at home with me all day and just work when she’s napping, after she’s gone to bed, or when she’s having a down time. So I’ve been trying to explore work-at-home opportunities and even some of those don’t appeal to me if I have to do the same darn thing I’ve been doing for the past 8 years. But if it’s the only thing available that isn’t a scam then I might consider it. Then here is the biggest challenge, finding something that won’t put us in a major financial crisis (I provide 1/2 of our family income) and that gives decent health insurance. Our family’s health insurance is through my employer because it is much better and cheaper than through my husband’s employer. So this is a real obstacle I must figure out a way to get around.
I am exploring a few options, but so far, things don’t look all too hopeful. But I keep searching, because I’m not sure I’ll be truly satisfied again til I’m able to stay home with my daughter.
I hope you both find the opportunities that would move you closer to “home”….Your parents and ME!!!!!!
I wish you the best and I know how you feel….I ended up quitting my job and working a Lexi’s daycare (when she was 4 and we didn’t want to pull her out of pre school at that point!) just so I could be close to her….